Hello....I hope this finds you well. I've written the beginning of this post many times over in my head since last night, so hopefully, I will say what I hope to say now that I am putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard, as it were).
I have given much thought over the last few months, off and on, of what to do with this blog. No answers came to me, until yesterday. I'm still not 100% sure it's the right course, but for now, it seems to be the one that fits.
This blog has had some re-purposing since it's beginnings in 2008. It started as a way to keep friends and and family from afar informed and involved and part of our family life. Then I found memes and blog hops in 2010, and didn't want the cyberworld to be so up close and personal to my family. In an effort to maintain some protection and privacy, I moved most of the "family" related posts to another blog. With life in general being busy, I just didn't have the time or energy to post much. So, this blog (and my others) kind of fell by the wayside.
While life is still very busy, and I am still on somewhat of a healing and recovery roller coaster (both physically and emotionally), I think I found a purpose. The blog title is from one of my most favorite scriptures in The Book of Mormon...
2 Nephi 2:25
"Adam fell that men might be, and men are that they might have joy."
Our reason for existing is to have joy, to be happy.
So, the focus, if you will, is my journey to joy.
And it will begin with a book I started reading (again) yesterday, which was prompted by an experience I had a couple of weeks ago. Any of you who have been following me for any length of time know that I am divorced and that it was not a pleasant parting. It was, in fact, quite painful for me. I am still growing and finding myself. Up until recently, I was also absolutely adamant that I WAS NOT going to marry again in this life or even remotely consider the possibility of any romantic relationship. I did and still allow that if the Lord chooses to make that happen, that is precisely what He will have to do...MAKE it happen. I will not (and still am not) looking for a partner of any kind other than friendship.
A couple of weeks ago I was messaged by a young(er) man on facebook. He is the son of a woman I have met at Compassionate Friends (no, he's not *that* young), so at some point in the past we became fb friends, although we have not ever met in person. He was quite flattering to me and made me feel good. He's attractive, and he intrigued me--the first male to do so in a long time. I entertained the conversation and subsequent texting, knowing nothing would likely come of it. And it didn't. His supposed interest waned after about a week....either he lost interest, something/someone else claimed his interest, or I did what I do best: I let my insecurities get the best of me. However, the very brief conversations made me realize a few things.
1. I don't like being alone.
2. I don't want to be alone.
3. I have much, much more work to do before I am ready to not be alone.
Which brings me to the book. I bought it during my divorce proceedings, but barely opened the pages. I have since attended a divorce recovery workshop (twice in fact), but still feel like I've barely cracked the surface. I pulled this book off the shelf again...and read the introduction, summaries of the steps, and chapter one yesterday One of the suggested activities is to keep a journal as you are working through the steps, which I will do. My hope is that my progress through the book will jump start my "journey to joy"...and maybe, just maybe, I can help someone else do the same by sharing my experiences here.
Have no fear...this blog will not be solely about my personal growth post divorce...it will be about the full journey. I have many goals, many challenges, many interests, and ultimately many blessings. I want to share them all with my family, my friends, and my friends to be. (I will probably also participate in a few remaining memes and blog hops as well....just not the scale I once did.)
I am going to take a nap now, and maybe this evening and this week, I will do some updating of the links and lists etc. in the margins here.
Take care, and thanks for sticking around!
